Burnt out
I feel tired all the time. I used to think I was lazy, but now I know I’m just burnt out.
We give so much of our time to things that make us unhappy — like work. By the time we finally get a moment to ourselves, all we want to do is switch off and recharge.
I spend all day talking to people in sales, so by the time I’m home with my amazing partner, I just want to shut up and turn my brain off.
Not only are we drained of energy — we’re drained of any motivation to do anything for ourselves. I want to go to the gym without having to beat rush hour traffic and fight testosterone-fuelled headcases for a bench. I want to spend time weeding my mum’s garden and go for a pint with my dad.
He asks me every week to grab a drink, just to catch up. But I work every single Saturday, because apparently it’s “the busiest day in car sales.” What a load of dug meat.
So I haven’t seen my pals in a month, and my dad probably thinks I don’t want to see him — just because I’m “too busy.”
I miss the therapy I get from my family and friends. I feel drained and lonely most days, but when I do get the chance to see them, I’m either skint or too mentally wiped to enjoy it.
That weight on your shoulders? It lifts when you get to play verbal ping pong with the boys — even if they’ve got the worst patter on earth.
Chasing something for myself isn’t about stuffing cash down the back of the couch. It’s about saying yes when my dad asks me to sit with him in a pub full of old guys telling me I’m a dick — but that he loves me.
It’s about creating dad lore with my pals — the stories we’ll laugh about with our kids one day.
It’s about spending time with my gorgeous girlfriend, who I sometimes forget to tell I love.
I know you’re in the same boat.
Because deep down, we all wish we had more time with the people we love.
If you feel like this, you’re not broken. You’re just living a life that doesn’t fit you.
The path out isn’t easy. But it’s real. And it’s worth taking.
I haven’t figured it out yet — but I’ve started. And starting is enough for now.
When you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing, you don’t need motivation. You’re just excited about life.
And I want to be excited about life.